Taking Care of the Team
by missmelon12
Summary: They've taken care of everything else. They can take care of this too. Written for a prompt over at the yj anon meme at lj.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes**: _This is chapter 1 in what is going to possibly be a freaking long story. I've got pages and pages of outlines, but the story is kind of already running away from me. In a good way, half of what happens in this chapter wasn't even planned. It just came to me as I was typing. Anyway, the future of this story has yet to fully make itself known to me, but plans are in the works to make it an OT6+1 and there's going to be lots of comic canon probably dragged into this. It won't be necessary to already know comic canon for this, although it might make things a bit less confusing? Just a heads up. _

_The link to the prompt this is written for can be found in my profile._

_This story is rated T for now, but there's a chance that it will go up later._

* * *

><p>This isn't how their first visit to The Watchtower is supposed to go.<p>

It's supposed to be exciting, a 'coming of age' moment where the League finally accepts them. The day when they're finally welcomed into the hero community as more than just _sidekicks._

They've dreamed of this moment and now it's come and it's nothing like it's supposed to be.

Robin can still hear Megan's screams echoing in his head as the light from the teleporter fades. He can still feel the pain and the fear that she had unintentionally shared with them empathetically amidst all of the confusion. It's shaken him to his very core, and so few things can shake him up.

He composes himself as best he can and casts a weary look at their welcoming party. Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash.

And J'onn, who is on the platform and taking Megan from Superboy's arms before Robin even notices him. He gets one last glance at her before the two of them disappear through a door down below. He tries not to think about how frail she looks in her martian form or how bad the burns that cover her legs look.

Kid Flash groans and Robin shifts him to a more comfortable position against his shoulder and helps him off of the platform. His leg is twisted at a painful looking angle, and he knows it's healed that way. It'll have to be broken and re-set.

Flash is there to take Wally off his hands at the bottom, and Batman is close behind him, barking orders.

Wonder Woman is suddenly on the platform, relieving Artemis of a half-conscious Kaldur, bringing a water bottle to his lips. He doesn't drink though, instead croaks out a weak, "Megan, is Megan alright?"

Robin doesn't stop to listen to the answer, because they won't know. Only J'onn can say for sure, if he even knows himself. So he pushes past Batman and heads for the door the two of them had left through.

A hand grabs his shoulder, stopping him, and he twists around to face Batman, struggling to stay calm, to keep cool. But it's hard, because he's beginning to realize, with growing horror, that the echoing pain in his head isn't an echo.

They're still feeling her pain, and it _hurts__._ And it occurs to him that this means she's definitely still alive, and he feels slightly relieved only she's still suffering and ohgodshe'ssuffering-

And something deep inside of him says that he deserves this, that all of them deserve to suffer with her in her pain, because they let her down. They let. Her. _Down__._

"Answer me, Robin."

He tears himself from his thoughts and glances up at Batman. He hadn't even realized the man was speaking.

"I'm sorry. What did you say?"

"I asked if you were okay," he repeats, fixing Robin with a stare that's more Bruce than Batman, and he must look pretty awful if Batman is daring to show his fatherly side.

Robin looks past him, at the rest of his team. Kaldur looks ill, trembling hands gripping one of the water bottles Wonder Woman had given him. He looks like he might pass out at any moment.

Artemis is sitting next to him, her head on his shoulder. There's blood in her hair and on her face and her hands are completely red-brown with it. She'd found Kid Flash before the rest of them, before his speedster healing had kicked in. Explosions do nasty things to people, and she'd seen it first hand while pulling shrapnel from his mangled body and trying so hard to make sure he healed normally.

She's still shaking, casting nervous glances at Kid Flash where he sits clinging to his uncle and sobbing. He's in shock, has been since he'd woken up mid healing, body still torn open and he had screamed and thrashed before slipping unconscious once more. Flash is whispering to him, trying to calm him down, to get him to respond in some way.

Robin doubts he even knows what's wrong with Megan, and he can only imagine what the pain and screams filling his head are doing to him on top of the shock.

Wonder Woman has moved on to Connor, now, and is talking to him in a hushed voice. He has his head in his hands, and he flinches away when she moves to put her arm around him. He's doing what he always does when he can't handle things, he's withdrawing into himself, ignoring everyone around him.

Overall, Robin thinks he's fared the best. He knows that maybe he shouldn't have, that he shouldn't be okay because he'd been there to watch a great deal of Kid Flash's body knit itself back together. And he'd been there to help Superboy pull Megan's body from the fire. He'd even stumbled across the corpse of one of the baddies who'd been unfortunate enough to be too close to the explosion. So no, he shouldn't be ok. But he is.

Gotham does that to people.

In front of him, Batman makes a worried noise in the back of his throat, and a heavy hand falls onto his shoulder again, squeezes it reassuringly. Robin looks at him and he smiles weakly.

"Yeah, I think I'm gonna be alright."

**oOo**

Someone is talking. He can hear them, but the words are all wrong, too slow. Tooslowtooslow_tooslow_-

Why can't they talk faster?

And _oh__god_the pain. He hurts, hurtshurts- His leg. He thinks it's his leg. _Fuck_he doesn't even care what it is. Just needs it to stop. To go away.

The voice is getting faster- or maybe it's just his mind finally slowing down, he doesn't know. Doesn't really care. He catches snatches of words. His name, hears his name a lot.

"Wally!"

He lurches upright, scrambles towards the voice, and he can hear someone screaming now and-

Oh. It's him, he's the one screaming, because the pain is absolute agony now and whywon'titjuststop?

The voice is talking again, and Wally realizes he's clutching whoever it is, clinging to them and he's crying because it just hurts sobadsobad_sobad_-

"Calm down, Wally. Your leg, you're going to make it worse." The voice is so familiar, only it's not because it's so frightened and shaky and Uncle Barry never sounds like this, so it _can__'__t_be him. Only it is, because he'd know that voice anywhere. And ohgod he hurts so bad.

"Wally, Wally please, listen to me-"

He draws in a ragged breath, tries to listen, he really does, but he's starting to feel dizzy, and the voice is starting to do that thing again where it sounds too slow and-

"Wally, I need to break your leg and re-set it. Do you understand-"

He doesn't understand, his head is too fuzzy, but he nods anyway, and then and then-

He whimpers because suddenly he knows what's about to happen, and his fingers scrabble for purchase against the ground, looking for anything he can cling to, like it will lessen the pain he's about to feel and-

There's a crack and painpainpainpain_pain_-

And then everything goes black.

**oOo**

Artemis doesn't really know when Black Canary shows up with Green Arrow in tow. She thinks it may have been sometime during her second shower, while she'd been scrubbing her skin raw, desperate to forget the way Wally's blood had looked on it.

She's seen blood before, spilled it herself even, and she can't figure out why it's bothering her so much now.

She curls up into a tighter ball on the bed and tries not to think about it, letting Dinah stroke her hair. The woman is sitting next to her, humming softly.

They're still on The Watchtower. The entire team. They'd all refused to leave, because Megan is still here and they can't leave until they know she's going to be alright. And the League hadn't even tried to argue with them, had just dragged them off to the infirmary and patched them up before showing them to their bedrooms for the night.

Artemis has a feeling that she won't be getting much sleep though. Whatever pain they'd been feeling from Megan has long since faded, but even so, she can't close her eyes without seeing Wally's blood everywhere or hearing Megan's screams.

In the end, with Dinah's comforting gesture, she does fall asleep.

And when she wakes up screaming several hours later, Dinah is still there.

**oOo**

Connor doesn't dream. He's aware of what dreams are- _a__ succession __of __images__, __thoughts__, __or __emotions__ passing __through __the __mind __during __sleep_- the G-gnomes had programmed the exact definition into his mind, just like they'd done with so many other things.

He reflects on everything that's happened and thinks that this entire night must be what a dream feels like. Because after the explosion, everything had been a blur. Yet he can remember in stark clarity, he knows what he did and how he did it. Can remember the way the smoke had choked him and how suffocating the heat had been as he'd been searching for Megan. But he can't remember actually doing it. He just knows that he did.

It's like he had been on... Autopilot? He believes that to be the correct term.

So this whole night had been like a dream, or maybe it's just him hoping it is. That he'll wake up and everything will be okay.

He knows that won't happen, though.

Because he doesn't dream.

**oOo**

The view from The Watchtower is breathtaking. The stars are bright against the black backdrop of space, the earth below is all blue and green-brown, and the way the clouds swirl across it's surface is simply beautiful.

Kaldur wishes he were in a situation where he could admire it all properly.

Instead, he's waiting in the conference room for Batman.

He glances over to where the rest of his team sits, minus Megan. He suspects that, like himself, none of them have had much sleep, if any at all. Still, they all look to be in much better shape than they'd been in the night before.

He is thankful that Batman allowed them to wait until morning for their debriefing.

Beside him, Artemis makes a choked sound and rubs a hand over her face.

"Are you okay?" Wally asks. His voice is hoarse and scratchy and Kaldur shudders as he recalls the boy's screams from the night before as his uncle had reset his leg.

Artemis jumps at the sound and drops her hand to the table. She studies Wally with bloodshot eyes for several minutes. "I'm fine," she says, at last, "What about you? You're awful calm for someone who-" She trails off, unable to finish, but her unsaid words hang in the air.

Kaldur watches as the speedster pales and looks away. "I don't really remember it all that much," he tells her and Kaldur can't be the only one who sees through the lie.

No one calls him out on it though, as Batman chooses that moment to finally enter the room. He's followed closely by J'onn and Black Canary.

Everyone's eyes are on the Martian Manhunter the second he appears, searching his expression for something, anything that will tell them if Megan is okay. His face gives nothing away as he takes a seat on the other side of the too big conference table. Dinah is less composed and the sadness in her eyes is all too noticeable as she sits down next to J'onn.

Kaldur tells himself not to fear the worst, but it's hard.

"How is Megan?"

It's the first time Kaldur has heard Connor speak since their arrival at the Watchtower, and the Atlantean is relieved to hear him. It's one less thing to be concerned about.

J'onn frowns, and shifts forward in his seat. "Megan will live," he tells them and the entire team relaxes a little.

Megan is alright, she's going to _live_, and Kaldur finds himself breathing easy for the first time since the disastrous mission started the night before.

J'onn must have read his thoughts, because he quickly continues, his words wiping away his relief. "Megan is stabilized, but the damage from the burns is permanent. It is unlikely that she will ever be able to use her legs again."

"What?" Wally jumps to his feet so fast that he knocks his chair over. He doesn't seem to notice. "What do you mean it's permanent?"

"Martians are extremely vulnerable to fire. The damage it causes is often lasting, as our immune systems are incapable of healing burns in the manner that a human's would."

Kaldur swallows the lump that's formed in his throat and finds that his mouth is suddenly too dry. "When can we see her?"

Batman takes a seat across from him, fixing him with his unseen glare. The one that the team always finds so unnerving. "Megan is currently resting. She's been through a great trauma and I think it would be best if you all saw her later."

He opens his mouth to protest, but then thinks better of it. It would set a bad precedent if he suddenly decided to question Batman's authority. Now is not the time to argue with one of the mentors.

Black Canary clears her throat and gives them all a weak smile. "Perhaps you all can visit her after the debriefing?" She casts a wary glance at Batman, who gives her what Kaldur can only guess is a stern look.

"Perhaps. Now Kaldur, tell me what happened."

**oOo**

Megan can hear them approaching. Their thoughts are loud and she can't help but hear. She blocks it out almost immediately, because she knows how they feel about her hearing their thoughts. It doesn't really matter either way, though, because she can still feel their worry for her, even if she can no longer hear their thoughts of it.

She looks down at her hands and briefly considers trying to shift back into her human form. She's completely martian right now, elongated head and red eyes, clawed hands, strangely proportioned limbs. And most notably, she's pale.

She's white.

They're going to notice, even if they may be too polite to question it. Martians are _green__. _They know this because they've seen her in her green humanoid form, and her uncle in his.

And quite suddenly she remembers that they'd already seen her in this form, as well. The night before, when the fire had reached her and she'd been unable to maintain her shape shift.

They already know.

And she doesn't think she has the strength to shift yet, anyway.

The door at the end of the room slides open, revealing Kaldur. The rest of the team follows him in, and she doesn't miss the startled look that crosses Wally's face, or the brief amount of confusion that rolls off of him.

He hadn't seen her the night before. She can't recall why. But he doesn't seem the slightest bit horrified or frightened by her appearance, and it warms her heart a little.

She smiles at them the best she can with a mouth that really isn't made for smiling. They all smile back, and she can feel the flood of relief they have at seeing her, and suddenly they're all moving the few chairs in the room closer so they can sit near her.

Robin opts to get on the bed instead, climbs on it with all of the grace she's so used to seeing from him. He settles in at the foot of it and grins his little impish grin.

"How ya feeling?"

Before she can answer, someone is taking her hand and squeezing it, and she looks over to see Kaldur. She squeezes his hand in return.

"I'm doing better," she says, "It only hurts a little now."

She realizes it's the wrong thing to say the moment the words leave her mouth. No one is smiling anymore, and the concern is back. Even Robin's grin has vanished.

"There's really no need to worry, guys," she tells them quickly, and tears her eyes away from her friends' faces to look down at where her legs are hidden under the covers. "I can barely even feel the pain." Because she can barely feel her legs. She doesn't tell them that though.

Beside her, Connor reaches forward hesitantly, takes her hand in his just like he'd seen Kaldur do. Then his hand moves and he runs his thumb up and over the strange, sinewy muscles of her forearm. She reaches out to take his hand in both of hers as it retreats back to his side.

"I'm _fine__._ Really."

"It hurt," he whispers, and his voice cracks as he speaks, "I- We could feel it, it _hurt__._ I thought you were going to-"

She drops his hand at the sudden realization of what she'd done. She'd projected her pain onto them, her fear, she'd invaded their minds and frightened them all and hurt them. She'd _hurt_them. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" She can't contain her horror and she knows it's pouring off of her in waves, and from the looks on their faces they can feel it. "I'm so sorry, I'm sososorry I'm-"

_I__'__m __so __sorry__!_

Everyone in the room tenses as the thought penetrates their minds. She can feel herself shaking, trembling, and she can't block out the hum of their thoughts anymore.

_Megan__! __M__'__gann__._

She jerks her head to look at Artemis where she sits next to Connor, and the girl meets her eyes, her too alien eyes that are beady and red and- _Don__'__t __apologize__._

Kaldur suddenly moves beside her and she flinches as his webbed hand lands on her shoulder. _You__ did__ nothing __wrong__, __M__'__gann__._

Robin shifts at the end of the bed, and he smiles at her again. _We__ don__'__t __mind__ all__ that__ much__, __we__'__re __just __glad__ you__'__re __alright__._

Wally's arms are around her before she even realizes he's beside her. _I__ don__'__t __know__ what__ this__ team__ would__ do__ without __you__, __Megan__. __M__'__gann__._


	2. Chapter 2

**Really long author's note: **_Definitely not as happy with this chapter as I was with chapter 1. I had most of this written when I first posted Chapter 1, but since then it's gone from being complete to incomplete and back to complete several times. I really couldn't make up my mind on certain things and I butchered it up a lot. At this point, I'm as happy with it as I feel I'm going to get. I'm only going to ruin it if I mess with it any more._

_I'm creating a buffer for this story (meaning I have chapters written ahead of what I'm posting,) and this mostly took so long because Chapter 3 is giving me a lot of trouble. I think I'm going to turn it into an interlude chapter of sorts, where it's important to the story (very important, actually,) but doesn't fit anywhere. I can't get it to fit in chapter 2 or chapter 4 (which is mostly done. And I'm very pleased with it) and it's too short to stand alone as a chapter. I'm trying to add to it, but it kind of works as is. I feel like if I mess with it anymore, everything added to it will seem tacked on and won't flow as well as the other chapters do._

_Also, having ridiculous issues with formatting this on ff dot net. Forgive me, please. Most of my issues revolve around anything that's in italics._

**oOo**

They're used to seeing the way her legs dangle when she floats through the air. It's no different now, really, only it is. It's completely different. They're dangling because she can't move them, not because she just happens to be floating. When she sits, they don't move either, unless she uses her telekinesis to move them. She's starting to do that more, starting to become more accustomed to the fact that she can't feel them anymore.

She can't shape shift them, either. The nerves are all dead, she tells them, she can't shape shift them or feel them, it doesn't hurt anymore. She's fine, really.

She floats around the base, legs dangling and they're white even though the rest of her is green. They're still Martian. The burns are still there, pink and gray raised scar tissue that twists up her legs, stopping just below the knee on one where the flesh subtly changes from white to green. The burns on her other leg disappear at the edge of her skirt.

Sometimes, when she floats, her clawed Martian feet drag the ground, and sometimes she won't notice for a while. Because she can't feel it.

She's handling it surprisingly well. Better than the rest of the team is.

J'onn let slip to them just how close she'd come to dying. They don't tell her they know that, but she knows anyway. She smiles and insists that she's going to be okay, that they don't need to worry.

So they don't worry, for her sake, and things go back to normal. They don't treat her any differently.

She's still Megan, no, M'gann.

She laughs, and it rings through the air, through their minds and she lets it, enjoys the pleasant hum of their happiness as they hear it. They need to hear it, to know she's alright.

Because she is, she really _really _is.

And she smiles, smiles because she needs to remind herself of that as well, sometimes.

She's going to be okay, she can still fight and so what if she can't walk anymore? Floating along, gliding through the air- it's much better, feels freer.

She's certain that Robin can relate to that.

**oOo**

The League wants M'gann off the team.

Kaldur can hear Batman and Black Canary arguing about it in the other room. Dinah's voice is shrill, he has never heard her so angry before. Batman is considerably quieter and calmer than her, but his voice is still teetering on the edge of angry.

"She's a liability to the team, Dinah! We can't have her out in the field anymore."

He clenches his fist as Batman's voice drifts through the door. He doesn't understand.

"How can you say that? There's nothing _wrong _with her. She can still fight just as well as the others! You can't punish them for this!"

"This isn't a punishment, I'm only trying to-"

"That's exactly what this is, Bruce! The mission went wrong and now you're going to punish them for it!"

Kaldur takes a deep breath to calm himself. Black Canary is on their side. She gets it.

"I don't _need _to punish them for this. They're already suffering the consequences of their actions. I'm only trying to protect them."

"Really? Because that's not how they're going to see it."

Kaldur's heard enough. He turns and heads for the kitchen.

M'gann is making them cookies.

**oOo**

Black Canary calls a team meeting later that evening. She doesn't say a word about her argument with Batman earlier as she addresses them.

"We're going to resume training next week," she says, and Megan shifts uneasily where she floats next to Robin. Dinah pretends not to notice. So does the rest of the team. "This team has been together for almost a year now, and I think it's time we change things up a little. I'm going to spend the week working on personalizing the training regimen to accommodate each of your unique abilities. It's time we start better incorporating them into your training."

Wally makes an excited noise and she gives him a weary smile before continuing.

"I've talked to Batman and," she hesitates here, and Kaldur tenses, certain that she's finally going to mention the argument. She doesn't. "He doesn't want the team going on missions again for a while."

Wally deflates at this, and Kaldur shoots him a warning glance. Now is not the time to complain about lack of missions. They are lucky that they're still a team. The speedster catches his eye and closes his mouth before he can speak. It doesn't go unnoticed by Black Canary.

"I'm planning to talk to him again later, see what I can do about that," she informs them, "I know how restless you guys get without missions."

Then she smiles and waves them off so they can continue with what they were doing before she interrupted. As they turn to leave, though, she stops them, and briefly looks them over with sad eyes.

"If any of you need someone to talk to- about anything, anything at all- I'm here. I just want to make sure you all know that."

Kaldur nods and feels the sudden need to thank her. She's done so much for them, she's on _their _side. She _understands_.

"Thank you."

**oOo**

This super hearing thing, he's getting better at it. He can block out noises now, it's no longer a constant overwhelming rush of sound.

He sits on the sofa and stares at the television, not really seeing the movie. He's blocked out the sound of it as well, focused in on the sound of M'gann's heartbeat instead. She sits next to him, her feet across his lap.

Her heartbeat is different than the others. It's a series of three and two -_thumpthumpthump thumpthump- _instead of the _thumpthump thumpthump _that he finds in everyone else. Definitely better than the rapid _thumpthumpthumpthumpthump _of Wally's too fast heartbeat. He enjoys the sound of hers more, and he listens to it and reminds himself how lucky she is to be alive, appreciates it more because he's so scared he might one day wake up and find it gone.

He loses himself in the sound and he doesn't know how much time passes, but suddenly M'gann is shaking his shoulder gently, and she's saying his name. And when he doesn't respond, his name is repeated but in his head instead, hesitant and nervous because she's worried he might react badly to her voice in his mind.

He still doesn't respond but turns to meet her eyes, acknowledging her. She smiles nervously, and he wonders briefly how long she'd been calling his name.

"The movie is over," she says, and sure enough, the credits are scrolling across the screen.

"Oh, I hadn't noticed."

She frowns and floats up and off the sofa. "You know, you didn't have to sit here and watch it with me if you didn't want to," she tells him.

"I wanted to, though," he says honestly and gives her the most sincere smile he can manage.

He still needs to work on the smiling thing.

**oOo**

Artemis glares at Wally where he sits next to her at the table, shoving food into his mouth at super speed. She tries to pretend his disgusting eating habits are the reason why she's only picking at her food.

"You okay, Art?"

Of course Robin would call her out on it, ever observant Robin. Nothing gets past him. She fights the urge to punch him in the face for calling her 'Art.'

"I'm fine. Kid Glutton over here is just making me sick." She scowls at Wally and he pauses to swallow a mouthful of food. She expects him to snap back at her, kind of wishes he would because a fight with Wally is exactly what she needs right now. He doesn't though.

"Sorry, Artemis!" and he slows down a little, which isn't really all that much at all in her eyes, and makes a genuine effort to chew with his mouth closed.

She ignores him and stabs angrily at her food. It's not the team's fault she's having a bad day. Not really. She shouldn't take it out on them.

Beside her, Wally pauses in his eating again, glancing over at M'gann. "So, M'gann," he begins, reaching up to wipe his mouth, "I thought Martians were green?"

The entire table falls quiet as M'gann's fork slips from her hand and clatters to her plate. She stares at him with wide eyes for half a second, before looking away.

_Fucking perfect. _She should have known that Wally would be the one to bring that up.

"Dammit, Wally!" Robin shoots his friend a glare- at least it looks like a glare, Artemis can't really tell with his eyes hidden- before turning his gaze back on M'gann.

"No, no it's fine," M'gann says quickly, straightening in her seat, "I- You all deserve to know, after everything that happened." She looks the rest of the team over nervously.

Next to her, Connor gives her a pained look, and Artemis gets the feeling that he knows something the rest don't.

"M'gann, you do not have to tell us, we would understand," Kaldur says softly.

She just shakes her head and tells them anyway.

"There are two kinds of martians, green martians and white martians." Her body shifts as she talks and by the time she finishes she's sitting there in her Martian form. "I'm a white martian." She gives them all that odd smile that's all gums and pointy teeth and reaches up to run a clawed finger along one of the spiked protrusions on her head.

"Then why are you green?" Robin asks, and Artemis suddenly has a bad feeling about where this is headed, "In your human form, I mean."

M'gann opens and closes her mouth several times before speaking again. "On Mars, white martians are not treated very well," she finally begins softly, avoiding their gazes, "We are considered second class citizens. Coming to Earth was a fresh start for me. I could be- I could _pretend _to be normal- normal by Martian standards. I didn't think-"

Wally interrupts her. "There's nothing wrong with you, M'gann," his voice sounds strained, "You shouldn't have to pretend. Ever. Not around us."

For once, Artemis completely agrees with him.

M'gann smiles again and sits through the rest of dinner in her martian form.

**oOo**

Black Canary's new training regimen is amazing. Robin can tell that she's spent a great deal of time working on it. She'd probably had something like it in mind since before the mission- the one that went so wrong.

He watches with interest as Megan twists in the air to avoid a punch. Dinah isn't holding back any more than usual, any more than she'd do for the rest of them. He's glad to see that, because the rest of the League seems to have resolved itself to treating M'gann like a broken doll.

And she's not. She's stronger than the rest of them for going through what she did and coming out of it with a smile still on her face, a genuine smile. That's why the team clings to her like they do, they need someone who can still smile when things go wrong.

She makes them whole when they're broken.

In front of him, M'gann tumbles to the ground from a swift kick to the side. Dinah doesn't even flinch, doesn't treat her any differently than normal.

"Up."

Then she's in the air again and they're back at it. The fight is a series of dives and strange aerial movements as M'gann grapples with fighting an opponent that's on lower ground, or just on the ground, rather.

Robin continues to watch in silence, fascinated by how agile she is in the air, even with her handicap. Her grace is something to rival his own. He wonders why he's never noticed it before.

He decides, as he finally stands and heads for the door, that he'll go to _her _the next time he needs a sparring partner, instead of Wally or Connor. His own grace and blatant disregard for gravity would make for an interesting sparring session with her.


	3. Interlude I

**Author's Note: **_A small update this time. This is merely an Interlude, which is still important to the story, but it doesn't quite fit as smoothly in with the rest of the actual chapters. I have plans to include more than one interlude, as breaks between certain chapters._

_Also, I realized I've been spelling Conner wrong. I fixed it for this and future chapters, so there's that. Also, future inner dialogue (via M'gann's telepathic link) will have quotations. Can't believe I didn't do it before. I apologize._

_Next update may be a while. Chapter four is giving me hell._

_Last thing- I created a tumblr, where I'll probably be posting previews of chapters that are currently WIP and the status of each chapter. Check it out. At the very least, you can see all of my geekery.  
><em>

**oOo**

Conner stares down at the cake that's been pushed in front of him, unsure of what to do. There are candles on it, the bright flames flickering on the top. 'Happy Birthday' is written across it in sloppy red icing. M'gann floats next to him and beams.

"I made it myself!" She tells him, and it suddenly explains a lot, like why he hasn't been allowed in the kitchen for the last two days. It definitely explains why the kitchen no longer looks like a kitchen. "I promise it's edible! Wally tasted it." Conner knows that doesn't actually mean all that much- Wally would eat just about anything.

The whole team is there, and he still doesn't know what the reason for the cake is or why it says 'Happy Birthday.' It's not his birthday.

He's fairly certain he doesn't have one.

He says as much, and Robin frowns, dropping down from his former seat on the counter. "Everyone has a birthday," he says, "And today is your birthday."

"We found you at Cadmus a year ago today," Wally cuts in, as if it explains everything.

Artemis makes an impatient noise from behind him. "Just blow out the damn candles before the wax melts into the cake."

He does as she says and blows the candles out, feeling silly. And it's too late, anyway, the wax has already melted down, mixing with some of the icing. M'gann begins plucking the candles out as soon as they cool down, and Kaldur is there with a knife, cutting slices for everyone.

Conner gets the first piece, because, apparently, it's _his _birthday today. Someone, he isn't sure who, hands him a fork and he holds it carefully, between fingers that could too easily mangle it into something unrecognizable. Like he'd done the first time he'd ever held a fork. Like he'd done so many times after that first time.

It's been a year, he realizes, as he takes a bite- it's good cake, he's impressed, M'gann's cooking is getting better. A year, an entire year, and he's changed and the team has changed and it feels like it's been forever and only yesterday all at the same time.

It's been a year, and he's celebrating his first birthday.

He doesn't feel any older, though.

**oOo**

It's their first mission since the accident.

Robin crouches low on the rafters and watches the scene going on down below with hidden eyes. He barely even listens to what the men are saying, just clutches the recording device in one hand and breathes softly.

This whole mission is a joke.

Batman doesn't trust them with anything more than an 'observe and report', not after the screw up that was their last mission. Not after-

He hears M'gann shift somewhere on a nearby rafter, and he lifts his head to look at her. It's dark but he can just make out her face and her eyes meet his briefly before flitting downwards again.

There's another noise, to his left this time, and he freezes, because M'gann is the only one up in the rafters with him. He turns slowly, carefully, only to jerk backwards as a bat flies into his face.

_Robin! _

M'gann's voice rings through his head, and he clings to the rafter trying to slow his breathing. He realizes, with horror, that he's dropped the recording device, and he expects to hear the clatter of it against the ground any second.

The sound never comes, and now M'gann is beside him, helping to steady him. She presses the device back into his hand, his shaking hand. He goes about checking it, makes sure it's still on and working. M'gann's hand lands on his shoulder and he jumps, meeting her eyes again.

"_Are you alright, Robin?"_

"_I'm fine."_

The rest of the mission goes smoothly, and he tries to pretend he didn't almost screw it up.

A bat, _really_?

He's getting sloppy.

**oOo**

It's their second mission, and it doesn't go as well as the one previous.

Artemis grunts as her bow is knocked from her hands and she spins backwards, dodging a swing aimed for her throat. She can still fight without her bow and she falls into the too familiar stance with ease. The one she'd used so often when she once went by another name. When she'd worked with her father.

Before Ollie, and the Justice League.

Before Young Justice.

The man is on his back in minutes. He wasn't even that great of a fighter anyway. Knocking her bow away had been a lucky shot.

She snatches up her bow and turns in time to see Wally come speeding into the room. He trips as he slows down, goes flying into the concrete face first. She swears under her breath, because he'd sprained his ankle not ten minutes early, and sure he's a fast healer, but he probably shouldn't be running on it yet.

Idiot.

He stumbles to his feet clutching his face, and she stalks over to him and grabs his arm.

"Let me see," she snaps.

"Ah think id's broken," he tells her. His hands drop to his sides and Artemis suddenly feels ill.

There's blood, on his hands and his face, and his nose is definitely broken. And- oh_god_ there's blood. She's breathing too fast and she feels dizzy, dizzy and sick and- She can't tear her eyes away from his face, away from the _blood_.

"Ardemis?"

Artemis jumps, and finally turns away, clenching her fist tight around her bow and hoping desperately that he won't notice her trembling, that he hadn't noticed her panic. She takes a deep breath to try and calm herself. "Make sure it doesn't heal crooked, I don't want to have to re-break it for you later," she tells him before stomping out to find the others.

If Wally noticed her strange behavior at all, he doesn't say, and she manages to make it all the way back to Mt. Justice before she runs off to heave up everything she'd had for dinner.

She doesn't sleep well that night.

**oOo**

Wally yawns as he reaches for his phone, eyeing the clock on his nightstand.

It's three in the morning.

Probably Robin.

"Seriously Robin, you have to stop calling me at-"

"Wally?"

He freezes, drags himself upright in the bed. That's not Robin's voice.

"Artemis? Is everything okay?" Why is Artemis calling him at three in the morning?

She sounds tired, and her voice is strained. He's half tempted to get up and take off for Gotham, just to make sure she's alright. He could probably be there in ten minutes.

"I'm fine, just-" she pauses at the other end of the line, takes a sharp breath, "Had a bad dream is all."

He frowns. "And you called _me_?" It's probably not what he should say in this situation, actually it's _definitely _not what he should say, but he's kind of shocked. He and Artemis aren't exactly BFF's.

He half expects her to snap at him. She doesn't, and her voice wavers as she speaks.

"I just needed to hear-" she cuts herself off and he can hear her take another deep breath, then, "Nevermind. Sorry for bothering you. Night."

The line goes dead before he can respond.

She avoids him when he sees her the next day and he considers cornering her, finding out just what the hell was up with her. He has a theory, thinks that maybe it has something to do with what haunts his own dreams at night.

In the end, he lets it go.

If she wants to talk about it, she'll come to him.


	4. Chapter 3

**Author's note: **_Not going to lie to you guys. This chapter has been done since my last update. And chapter 4 has yet to be written or even worked on since. I've been busy, mostly writing other things. But I'm back. I plan to start work on chapter 4 sometime today and it's already outlined. So there's that. Umm, guess that's all I have to say. Gonna try to have the next chapter up by the end of the month but no promises._

**oOo**

He can hear voices bleeding into his head through the telepathic link, Robin's voice louder than the rest, giving orders. Artemis is talking aloud, still crouched over the body. He can't take his eyes away from the body.

The dead body.

_Electricity arcs through the man's body and he screams, crashes into the computer console where the water sparks and fizzes and increases the surge going through him and-_

What has he done?

"_Kaldur?"_

"Kaldur?"

Someone is shaking his shoulders and he finally drags his eyes away from the body, lifts his head to stare up into Wally's face.

"C'mon, we need to get out of here, Kaldur."

He nods thickly and then the speedster is dragging him to his feet. He catches sight of Artemis and Robin just over Wally's shoulder. Robin is tapping away at his computer gauntlet and looks up briefly, catching Kaldur's eye and giving him a reassuring smile, before turning to Artemis and saying something Kaldur can't hear.

They're calm. Why are they so calm about this? There's a dead body laying just feet from them. _A dead body._

And it's his fault.

What has he _done_?

M'gann is waiting for them with the bioship outside of the compound. Conner is already there, and Robin and Artemis arrive some unknown time later, and there's lots of hurried talking and movement and noise that Kaldur barely notices because he drops numbly down into his seat the moment he reaches the ship.

At some point, everything goes quiet and he's fairly certain the ship is moving, but he can't be sure, he's not paying enough attention.

It's suffocating, as much as the air he's breathing, too heavy and thick and Kaldur takes a deep breath, struggles to still the shaking in his hands. Someone has dropped his water bearers into his lap and he curls his webbed fingers around them, then draws back quickly as if burned, remembering what he'd done with them.

Someone is talking again, in a hurried whisper, and he hears his name, several times. He turns towards the source, starts when he comes face to face with Robin. The boy is standing in front of him, leaning over, a hand squeezing his shoulder.

"You need to calm down, Kaldur," he says softly, and there's something relaxing filling his mind, a presence he vaguely recognizes as M'gann.

"I-" His mouth is dry, too dry and he needs water needs- A bottle is pressed into his hand, and he fumbles with the top, brings it to his lips and drinks. He's still shaking and he can feel the cool water running down his face, onto his chest and-

"_Look _at me, Kaldur."

He nearly drops the water at the fierceness of Robin's voice, but he does as he's asked, inclines his head to meet Robin's hidden eyes.

"Take a deep breath and _calm down. _We _need _you right now, Kaldur," he tells him.

"I- I killed him, Robin. I-"

"It was an accident, Kaldur."

"We were there, we saw what happened." He looks over at Wally and receives a nervous smile from the speedster.

"Uh, guys, we're going to arrive at Happy Harbor within the next half hour. We need to decide what we're going to do." M'gann's words throw the ship back into silence and Kaldur shifts uncomfortably, opens and closes his hand around his water bearers. There's a weight behind her words, and he doesn't want to dwell on it but he has to. He is their leader, he needs to say something.

In front of him, Robin straightens and surveys the entire team. "We're not going to do anything," he says suddenly, "No one needs to know what happened."

"Are you suggesting we lie to the League?"

Conner's words ring in his ears. Lie? To the League? It goes against everything he stands for. So does killing. But they can't _lie _to the League they can't, they-

"No!" He surges to his feet, barely notices as his water bearers go clattering to the deck of the bioship. "I will take responsibility for my actions, I will-"

Robin's hand shoots out, grabs his wrist in a too tight grip as he cuts him off. "Think about what you're saying. You're our leader, this team needs you, Kaldur. What do you think will happen if you tell them?"

Kaldur opens and closes his mouth several times, but Robin speaks up again before he can answer.

"They won't stop at taking you off the team, Kaldur," he says, and he's angry and they've never heard Robin angry like this before. It's unnerving. "They'll disband the entire team. We'll go back to being _sidekicks._ Or worse, some of us might not even be allowed to be that much. We can't let that happen, Kaldur. Think about the _team_!"

And he does.

He thinks about M'gann, about the conversation he'd overheard between Canary and Batman. She needs them as much as they need her and without the team, what will happen to her? Will her uncle send her back to Mars?

And what of Conner? Who the League already tiptoes around, who Superman doesn't want. The team is his _family. _They're all he has.

And Robin is right, completely right. What he's done, it affects the entire team. He won't be suffering the consequences alone.

He has really messed up.

But he will not allow the others to be punished for what he did. And the League, they've always refused to see reason. What's to stop them from disbanding the team?

He thinks on all of it and he stands in front of Batman later and he _lies. _He lies to him, and in turn, to the entire League.

But he does it for the Team.

**oOo**

The team doesn't _kill._

Conner repeats the words to himself over and over. He needs to remind himself, because he knows what Kaldur did was an accident. And he'd always thought that if, hypothetically, one of them ever accidentally killed someone, it would be himself.

Him, because he's too _too_ strong and sometimes it's hard to remember that not everyone is as strong as him. He could too easily crush bones beneath his grip and it's easy, so easy to forget. But he's always so careful because of it. Because the League wouldn't hesitate to take him from the team, they don't want him here, don't trust him. But it would just be him, and the rest of the team can go on without him. He's not as important as, say, Kaldur.

Kaldur who is their leader, their _rock._ There is no team without Kaldur, he's the oldest, he knows best. The team _needs_ Kaldur.

And he'd made a mistake.

But that's all it was, a mistake, an _accident._

And Conner knows it was, he can see the guilt all over the older boy's face. He sits in the kitchen and stares absently up at the ceiling, webbed fingers splayed on the table. The guilt isn't just in his face, it's in his posture. He carries himself differently.

"Kaldur."

The Atlantean jerks his head in Conner's direction, startled.

"Are you okay?"

He nods, doesn't say anything, just nods and Conner grabs the plate of M'gann's cookies off the counter and takes a seat next to him, offers him some. Kaldur stares at them warily but eventually reaches out and takes one. They sit, and they eat in silence and-

Conner wishes it had been him. Wishes he'd been the one to slip up and-

He's expendable, and Kaldur doesn't deserve this. To feel guilty like this.

He was the good one. The one that didn't make mistakes.

And what would one more mistake be to Conner?

**oOo**

Wally fidgets and watches Kaldur. He's not spoken much since the incident the night before. Only spoken when spoken to, really. All one word answers and nods.

It's unsettling, and Wally wishes that he would just _say _something already. That he would relax and stop staring off in a daze, stop looking so guilty, stop-

Wally is being selfish, he knows it. But he isn't sure how to feel. He's never seen a dead body before, never watched someone die before- No, that's not true. He'd watched Kent Nelson die. But this is somehow different, so very, very different. It isn't but it is all at the same time. He can't stop thinking about it. Not because it's bothering him, because it isn't. It isn't bothering him, and he thinks it should, thinks he should have had more trouble sleeping the night before.

He's handling this well and that's what bothers him.

Still, Artemis and Robin are handling it better. That bothers him a little, too. He tries not to think of the implications of that. They're both from Gotham, after all, but the calm collected look on Artemis' face as she'd knelt and checked the body's pulse had frightened him, unnerved him. More than watching the man die.

He shakes off the memory and plops down next to Kaldur, snatches up the plate of cookies in front of him. Half of them are gone and he grumbles about it as he starts shoving them into his mouth. "-called dibs on these cookies when she took them out of the oven. Can't believe you would eat them-" He pauses, mouth full, and looks over to see if Kaldur is even listening, paying attention to him.

He's not.

And Wally _really _wishes that he would, because Kaldur always knows the right thing to say.

He's good like that.

Usually.

**oOo**

M'gann puts on her brightest smile as she enters the room, tries her best to pretend nothing is different. It's hard, because everything feels so _wrong _here. She can feel Kaldur's guilt and turmoil, so very overwhelming and thick in the air.

She picks up the plate of cookie crumbs from in front of him and busies herself with cleaning it. She should probably make more later. Or tomorrow.

Tomorrow sounds good.

She drops the dish into the drying rack and turns to look at Kaldur. She doesn't want to invade, she's been doing it too much lately, conversing in their minds and making her presence there known. No one's shown any discomfort yet, but still-

She glides into the chair next to Kaldur, entwines her hand in his as best she can with the webbing and drops her head down onto his shoulder. He shifts against her, inclines his head closer until his is touching hers.

"Kaldur'ahm," she breathes out softly, and she says it simultaneously in her mind, lets it echo gently over into his mind as well. He relaxes slightly and she squeezes his hand as he'd done for her when she'd first seen him after the fire.

She hums softly, nothing in particular, a martian lullaby she remembers from her childhood. She's always found it calming, and she hums it for him and hopes it helps.

And she keeps smiling, because someone needs to.

**oOo**

He finds Kaldur in the kitchen, exactly as M'gann had said he would. He's staring at his hands and he looks up as Robin approaches, eyes distant.

It's so un-Kaldur like that Robin hesitates as he takes a seat across from him.

"Are you alright, Kaldur?"

He drops his eyes down to stare at the table top. "No, but-" he pauses, lifts his eyes to meet Robin's. "I think I will be. With time. I-"

"You made the right decision, not telling them," Robin tells him, cuts him off nervously, "Just, I wanted you to know that. We all- All of us stand by your choice. You did what was best for the team." He pauses to lick dry lips before continuing. "You're our leader, Kaldur, we will still follow you regardless of- It was an accident, we all know that."

"I apologize," Kaldur whispers softly, "I have jeopardized the team and-"

"Don't apologize. We'll get through this. We're a team, and we'll move past this as a team."

Kaldur nods slowly, and the conversation dies. Robin doesn't leave though, doesn't want to leave Kaldur alone like this. So he stays, until sometime later, when Kaldur stands and excuses himself quietly.

**oOo**

Artemis finds Kaldur at the beach, sitting in the wet sand with his feet in the waves. It's cool out, and she clutches her jacket tighter around her shoulders and crouches down next to him.

"Kaldur," she whispers, and he looks over at her.

"I am fine, now, Artemis. Really, I-"

She shakes her head and cuts him off. "Don't lie, Kaldur. You're not fine. Killing, it- You don't just get over it. It takes time. I-" She frowns and shivers, looks out across the ocean. "I understand, Kaldur. I-" She can't finish, and she sighs, scuffs her foot in the sand.

"You understand?" he echoes, following her gaze to where it looks out across the water. "How can you-"

She scowls and answers his question before he can finish asking it. "I just do, okay? It doesn't really matter." He frowns at her but she ignores it, climbs to her feet. "I'm going back inside, it's too cold out here."

And then she leaves him there, and hopes that maybe he won't think on her words enough to know what she'd meant.

**oOo**

Kaldur stays out at the beach long after Artemis leaves, staring out across the waves. It's a beautiful night, but he barely notices.

He wonders what his King would think of him. Kaldur is certain the man would be disappointed, just as he is in himself. He had overreacted, used too much force against an opponent that did not require it. The man had been, physically, no real threat to the team, had been no stronger than himself or Artemis or Robin. He was not a meta, had no powers to speak of. He was only unlucky enough to be too close to the computers, close enough to try and alert someone to their presence.

And Kaldur had killed him.

He wonders how long it will be until he is able to sleep well again.


End file.
